As the shenanigans of the election season unfold daily, one cannot help but wonder what politicians have in common with popular telenovela characters. Here is a list of top local politicians and who they would be if they were thespians on the set of SA Politics: The Telenovela.
Julius Malema would be Cobra from The River
During election season, Malema oscillates between being a serious opposition leader to uncle party time. A recent video of him dancing with various celebs to the popular amapiano whistle song is demonstrative of the fact that he has an element of monate mpolaye to him. Of course, there is the classic act of rubbing salt in the wound and telling Masina to ”just be strong” following his failure to secure a second term of the Ekurhuleni Metro.
Of course, Juju is also known for his charismatic personality and having little patience for fools while ensuring theatre. Additionally, his public affection for Uncle Vinny is reminiscent of Cobra’s love for his sons. (Yes, I am saying that Uncle Vinny would definitely be Renny Boy).
I want to say Thandi Modise is The River's Lindiwe, but...
... I cannot think of a scenario where Lindiwe would be held hostage by unarmed men. Where would they fetch that level of gumption from?
Fikile Mbalula’s commitment to liking things and being messy can only be attributable to Vero from The River
Outside of the Mokoena clan, there are very few people who find themselves tied up in useless controversies and parties like this man.
Remember the time he opened for Cassper Nyovest at Fill Up the Dome dressed in all white? His daily serving of cat eyeglasses and commentary on everything but what he is paid to do… it’s giving Veronica. Yes, I am calling him an elderly bad-bad.
Willie Madisha (aka Hong Hong Hong) is probably who Zolani from The River will grow up to be:
An elderly man who terrorises his age mates for having private school accents.
Mmusi Maimane would definitely be Ntate John from Legacy
Our favourite clapback king on Twitter, he just strikes us a person who has the potential to spill tea that would be incredibly detrimental to the cohort there by the blue party. Of course, there is something quite satisfying about Maimane’s rebrand, and is there anybody pettier than Ntate John?
John Steenhuisen would be Felicity’s con-artist husband...
...Natasha Mazzone as Felicity Price and lastly Hellen Zille as Angelique. A dysfunctional family that suffers from delusions of grandeur and zero awareness of the socio-economic conditions of most of this country. (How about the continuous effort to oust black people from positions of leadership in the party? Dineo Pryce would like a word!)
Things that Tito Mboweni and Uncle Gordon have in common on Legacy?
They are incredibly smart and somewhat powerful but they would rather cook and hang out with family. As for Tito, he also adds the accolade of being a soft life ambassador and Limpopo tourism influencer.
Moving onto The Queen, there can only be one Brutus – Gwede Mantashe
This is not only because they have similar goatees and assume the same pouting pose when they are visibly upset. Mantashe is the uncle who may say whatever he wants, whenever he wants and all you can do is stand in the corner short circuiting from second-hand embarrassment.
Bantu Holomisa has the cheekiness and unassuming humour of Goodness’s favourite uncle, Mziwoxolo.
And who is Herman Mashaba?
The one who appears to be doing the greater good for the masses, but what really sustains him is quite harmful to a group of people and society as large? Colonel Hector Sebata. The Old Sebata was deadset on building alliances and conspiring with the small fish to monopolise territories from the Khozas.
Many a politician can put up a performance and some have done so professionally if we consider that Dr Mandla from Generations is now a member of parliament. And that wraps the cast of South African Politics.