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Makoti Olympics are as ridiculous as you think

Underwhelming men with problematic views are the prize for the smart and beautiful women hoping to be chosen in Makoti, Are You the One?
Author: Ree Ntuli
Thu, Jan 13, 2022

Between 'momom' and 'mendolympics', I often have a hard time deciding which reality tv show content I enjoy more. This is precisely why I had several internal screams when, this past Friday, I tuned into 1Magic at 8:30pm and learnt with such glee that the channel has packaged my two favourite chaotic genres into one show.

For those of you who might not be proficient in Twitter lingo, a 'momom' is a guy who invokes his mother in practically every conversation, but especially when he has a load of buffoonery up his sleeve that he needs to pass off as pearls of wisdom from his beloved mother.

The logic here is that because mother dearest has either said or endorsed it then it surely must be law, never mind how preposterous it sounds. All credit for the word's pronunciation, which is actually a derivative of 'my mom', goes to Joburg's cool kids.

Now, that that's out of the way…

DStv's 1Magic has brought us a daring new show, Makoti, Are You the One? It is a fast-forwarded version of the traditional practice of 'ukukotiza', where a new bride gets acquainted with her in-laws.

The practice ordinarily involves umakoti performing domestic chores which – depending on the family she marries into – range from waking up at 4am to bake scones for the husband and the in-laws, to washing the last dish in the sink after serving the whole family a full breakfast.

Essentially, what typically happens after marriage traditionally, happens before on the show, with the goal to prove eligibility for marriage. So, basically… mendolympics – derived from the word umendo.

Except for one husband-to-be, Mbongeni, who seems like a mature enough grootman with a clear definition of what he wants and where he's going, the baggage and issues that each of these men bring to their relationships sound heavier than the cross Jesus carried to Golgotha.

There is Sabelo, who tells us, without batting an eye, that he has fathered five children with five different women and that two of those women, he impregnated simultaneously. I just…

Then there is Nhlanhla, who has the emotional range of a pre-schooler and has nothing to say except regurgitate whatever momom has said. For instance, he generally has no qualms about his partner's choice to wear revealing clothing. In fact, according to his makoti Ntombi, he loves it. But because his mom feels the opposite way, his feelings are subject to change.

He and Ntombi have been together for several years, are well on their way to a forever together, yet he has never met Ntombi's child from a previous relationship – he doesn't seem to be in too much of a hurry to either.

However, he has flagged the poor child as a threat which might disqualify Ntombi from the makoti Olympics. A whole future husband. Have you ever?

Lorna and Sipho are the fourth couple on the show, and although we don't hear much from Sipho in the first episode because Lorna has enough verbosity for the both of them. We know – and I'm not sure why – that he is nicknamed Obama and is often referred to as 'leadership' by his better half even though so far, the one who seems to be doing the leading is Lorna herself. But we'll see.

Now, add to this mix the mothers-in-law with their antiquated ways of doing things, meddling siblings with a dash of extended family and you've got yourself 21 days of solid havoc.

If, like me, you've watched and cackled at the love gymnastics that take place in shows like Mzansi Magic's Pastor Wants a Wife and Boer Soek ‘n Vrou on kykNET, you are going to absolutely love hate-watching the extent to which beautiful, smart women often go to secure umendo and perhaps even ask yourself some serious questions about whether the things we do in the name of love and marriage are even worth it.

  • Makoti, Are You the One? is on 1Magic (DStv 103), Fridays at 8.30pm