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LIFESTYLE & ENTERTAINMENT

S’yamosha ngempela! Senya ke tla patella!

Big Brother Mzansi has been true to the season’s theme
Fri, Mar 01, 2024

Between the counterfeit Mseleku with nipple piercings storyline, Makhekhe and Yolanda’s skhanda love and The Ghosts’ nefarious plans that don’t seem to be as grandiose as they planned, and when PapaGhost returned to the house like an “animé villain” … Big Brother Mzansi has been true to the season’s theme of S’yamosha!

This season has been alarmingly different with the emergence of super stan accounts that do not hesitate to insult, swear and throw all sorts of tantrums regarding alleged “production” pets when the storylines do not favour their faves.

Listen, Big Brother is not some guy with a deep voice deciding to throw all types of twists and turns unilaterally, it is a game and an unscripted reality show! If your fave is not getting camera time it’s probably because you are generating conversations on their opps who didn’t forget that there is a 2-meter on the line, they are not here for a retreat!

The best reminder that this is not a sleeping-and-kissing game, is the mass nomination of 11 housemates that include Chuenzaaa, Liema, Makhekhe, McJunior, Meelay, Mich, PapaGhost, Sinaye, Taki, Yolanda, and Zee.

Jareed, in his smooth and slimy ways, managed to evade the nomination list as Willy, the current head of the house, saved him and replaced him with Chuenzaaa. Unfortunately, the pierced counterfeit Mseleku still lives under the delulu that the chaos and conflict that he is complicit in with the three- and sometimes four-way relationship with Liema, Mpumi, and occasionally Els is the reason why the girls are still in the house. Our American boy from the South of Joburg thinks he is on Love Island and not Big Brother.

Yolanda, our self-proclaimed cow-skinned girl, has the gift of immense beauty and immense noise. Her tenure in the house has seen her singing at all hours of the early morning and forever pleading guilty to the allegations that she is loud, inconsiderate and annoying.

There is a thin line between love and war because all though PapaGhost declares daily that Yolanda is the bane of his existence, he seems to do everything to gain her attention.

Last week we were treated to a 9-minute cussing session from Yolanda to PapaGhost where she questioned his snobiety and constant reminders that he is better than everybody in the house and she put a question mark as to whether he is as financially well off as he claims. PapaGhost and his dutiful wife who is constantly being instructed not to interrupt him when he is speaking (sigh) have seemed to be an irritant to the rest of the housemates. They have been called dirty, accused of having not achieved anything of significance at their ages and just all round imbeciles.

For McJunior, our chief strategist and nkabi yase Atlanta, this is an unacceptable condescension and he does not miss an opportunity to eloquently express his abject disdain for Mama (her name is Lerato Modise at home affairs) and PapaGhost.

Ironically, the Ghosts have become the parents of the household, with their firstborn being Makhekhe. After a shocking and extremely problematic start to the game where he happened to listen to Bravo B’s disturbing conspiracy to harm a housemate (he was swiftly removed from the house) Makhekhe has committed himself to being educated on consent and general sexual education. I believe this was an educational moment for many viewers too as Big Brother is a micro-society that exposes the myths and ignorance that plague our community on gendered violence. Anyway, Makhekhe has been called spineless, a follower, and handed a litany of citations that are fancy ways of naming him an ice boy. The housemates fail to perceive that being with the Ghosts might be a part of his strategy … and why do the bonnet Aunties, Sinaye and Taki not receive the same label with their symbiotic relationship that borders on conspiracy and alliance building?

Thankfully, the nominations have been a wake-up call for the housemates to start doing the work of entertaining rather than hoping that a face card, abs or any other superficial feature will keep them in the house. Meelay, who many have forgotten about until a week ago, has now become a songbird who partakes in steamy make-out sessions and wakes up the next day to be silent again. Sometimes I want her to do something incomprehensibly out of character so that she gains a highlight but it seems that it is baby steps with our baby Meelay.

The votes are in and only Sunday will tell who has a real OG big brother following and who merely has influencers using the #BBMzansi hashtag for engagement purposes! When I catch Elon Musk? Anyway, let us reconvene on Sunday and let the culling begin!

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