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8 of Lindiwe from The River's best killer looks

Madlabantu has made killing a flex. Her iconic ensembles add a sense of artistry to the already creative methods she uses while committing murders
Thu, Feb 17, 2022

As The River draws back the curtains for Season 5, viewers are still gagging about how for four seasons Lindiwe ‘Madlabantu’ Dikana has managed to make killing a flex. The elegance with which she carries herself when killing is always like witnessing an opera singer hitting that anticipated high note… An indescribable masterpiece.

Madlabantu has normalised killing as an art form and an easy way to remove an inconvenience. So much so that I, as a fervent viewer, automatically think “just die” whenever a character is annoying.

She has given us fashion and she has given us genius and intricate plans to get rid of people who get on her wrong side. Her best kills and accompanying looks are as follows:

8. Thato

The first time we witnessed the callousness that lives inside Lindiwe was when she literally made sure that Thato slept with the fishes! At the inception of the show, her fashion choices were still sublime and powerful, and she looked expensive as always.

7. Tumi (the first time)

Who can forget seeing a mother bury her daughter alive? She made operating a forklift look effortless and regal.

6. Zweli’s side chick

Sheree made the mistake of seducing and assaulting Zweli to coerce him into a romantic relationship. Of course, with great delusion comes great recklessness, and Sheree forgot that there is in fact someone who can ‘check her’. Sheree was on the menu at the lion park for attempting to snatch Madlabantu’s beloved lala.

5. Elvis

Arriving in the largest hat I have ever seen on TV (outside of Nonku’s mom on The Real Housewives of Durban), Lindiwe orchestrated the most sinister killing she has plotted to date. Let’s just say, it was the most poetic way for a pervert to die.

4. Gail

One thing about Madlabantu? Do not threaten her marriage and her slightly toxic dependency on Zwelethu. When the well-meaning Zulu-speaking fiancee Gail came around, Lindiwe created a banquet of humiliation for her nemesis.

First, she upstaged her by arriving in an extravagant wedding ensemble looking like the bride herself. And as a foreshadowing of the massacre that was to come, she dressed in a blood-red outfit while fighting an army of mercenaries. Yes, Gail was killed, Lindiwe made sure of that.

3. Tumi (for real this time)

Do you know what is more annoying than a person who can’t just accept her new wealth and new caring mother? A person who jeopardises her new wealth and new caring mother.

The scene where Madlabantu becomes the type of animal that feasts on her own child to sustain herself was absolutely the pinnacle of Lindiwe’s wickedness. Donning a designer gown, Madlabantu shoots down a helicopter carrying her daughter to protect her own freedom.

2. Nyakallo

While Lindiwe was cosplaying as a submissive wife and watching the love of her life fall in love with another woman, we finally thought that her most prized possession had broken her.

Nyakallo could’ve gotten away, but she let down her mask and tried to go toe-to-toe with the devil. Madlabantu surreptitiously slipped onto the train, orchestrating an assortment of actions that drove Nyakallo to a mental breakdown and death. Lindiwe’s inventive zombie bride look elevated the look of the villain to the next level.

1. Mohumi

The poetry of father and daughter being killed by the mother where there is a helicopter involved? Like his own daughter, Mohumi died because of arrogance and thinking he could outplay the devil. It never works out well. How did it end? Two words: red bottoms.